


Of Loves Past and Present

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [35]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward But Inevitable Conversations, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3592512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn and Cullen have the awkward conversation every couple eventually faces - discussing their past love lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Loves Past and Present

Suledin Keep was the Inquisition’s largest fortress outside of Skyhold. Cullen had never visited it before and was taken aback by its size. The keep served as the primary economic and diplomatic hub for the Inquisition and as such fell under Josephine’s purview. Her touch was evident everywhere from the luxurious guest rooms to the manicured courtyards. Merchants and diplomats filled the halls and vestibules. Shopkeepers had set up stands in the Keep’s outermost courtyards and called out for the Inquisitor to look at their wares.

Cullen was surprised that Evelyn merely waved off the merchants and diplomats that approached her. Typically, she was accommodating to a fault. Her face was also tense and pale. She rushed to the section of the keep reserved for herself and the inner circle. Cullen followed her as she went into her room and began to change out of her armor.

“Are you alright? Do we need to have another healer check where you hit your head?” 

“No, it’s not that. It is just uncomfortable being back here after what happened the last time. I was hoping to tackle both rifts today just to avoid coming here.” Evelyn flopped down in a chair and removed her boots.

Her reaction made sense to Cullen now. She had sustained near fatal injuries gaining this keep for the Inquisition. It held no good memories for her. 

“Why don’t we take a look at the shops and then have dinner just the two of us? Create some better memories here.” he asked.

“I’d like that very much, but I need to get cleaned up first. Maybe I can find myself a birthday present even.”

“It’s your birthday?” he asked while inwardly chiding himself that he didn’t know when her birthday was. _Maker’s balls, I don’t even know how old she is._

“No, that’s next month - on the 13th if you didn’t know.” she winked. “I’ll turn twenty-five.”

_Good grief. She’s so young._ “But why buy your own present?”

“My parents abandoned me to the Circle when I was 5, Cullen. I’ve had many birthdays where the only gift I received was one I made or gave myself. When I had friends or lovers to remember the date, I still kept the tradition of getting something for myself just in case.” 

She went to her trunk, pulled out a clean set of leathers, and then started to fill the bathtub.

“Lovers?” he said placing special emphasis on the s. “As in more than one? I’ve only heard you mention the templar.”

“Surely you don’t want an accounting of each of my past boyfriends.”

“Well, I uh... suppose not, but just how many boyfriends have you had?”

“Most were casual flirtations born of boredom. Why do you want to know?” As she spoke, she stripped down to her smalls and cast a spell to heat the water.

Cullen wasn’t sure why he wanted to know. Her answers were sure to stir jealousy. _How many had she loved? How many had she taken to bed? Were there any that were better than he was?_ Those were questions that would have no palatable answers.

“I guess I don’t really want to know.” he replied unconvincingly. She rolled her eyes at his response and began to take down her hair. 

“Six boyfriends - not including you. All were mages except Kevin. With the exception of a Senior Enchanter, they were all within two years of my age. Most wouldn’t qualify as _relationships_.” 

She continued talking as she searched around the unfamiliar room until she found shampoos and soaps.

“The Senior Enchanter and I were a couple for a little over year until we were discovered. He was transferred to Kirkwall as a result. You would have arrived there about a year before him. I got to stay in Ostwick and serve more time in the storerooms. My punishment might have been more severe if I hadn’t been so young or if there wasn’t such a marked difference in our ages and rank.” 

She placed a robe, washcloth, and towel beside the tub and then faced Cullen.

“I _thought_ I was in love. He was thirty-two which was twice my age. He was my _first_ , and we were discovered that time. It was mortifying. I didn’t sleep with anyone else until Kevin many years later.”

Evelyn turned to the tub and tested the water’s temperature with her hand. She motioned for Cullen to turn around which he did as she slipped out of her underwear and into the water.

Cullen had so many questions at this point he didn’t know which to ask, so he went with the most innocuous. “In Kirkwall, only tranquil worked the stockrooms. You said you had to serve _more_ time there. Was that a common punishment in Ostwick?”

“Oh no, it was a special one for me. I first had to serve there when I was thirteen. I had a silly argument with one of the other apprentices. It got heated, and I burned a section of our library on accident. I’d never managed a decent fire spell before then. The First Enchanter sent me to work with the tranquil as a warning.”

“That must have been pretty sobering.” Cullen answered still facing away from Evelyn.

“You would think so, but I loved it - especially the second time I was sent to work there. I got to spend time organizing things with quiet, polite people. It’s also where I learned herbology and alchemy. I volunteered to continue helping even after my sentence was complete. The only part I hated was passing out lyrium rations. You can turn around if you want.”

Cullen sat down in a chair facing the tub. He could see Evelyn’s head but the high walls of the tub obscured the rest of her. He didn’t mind, though. He wanted to be able to concentrate on their conversation.

“In the Circles I served, a templar controlled the rations.” Cullen commented.

Evelyn scrubbed at her skin with the washcloth as she responded. “Ostwick had been that way, too, but the templars kept skimming lyrium, so the job passed to the tranquil because they had no motivation to steal. Once I worked there, the Knight Commander asked me to do it because the templars liked interacting with a ‘real’ person.”

“Why did you hate it?”

“I hated seeing grown men and women so desperate for something. Also I felt like I was betraying the other mages. Every day I was giving the templars the power to control us. But it did allow me to get to know Kevin better. We passed notes to each other when I gave him his rations.” Evelyn looked lost in a memory for a moment then returned her gaze to Cullen. “Anything else you want to know?”

“What was the Senior Enchanter’s name?”

“Faren.”

“I remember him - elven, specialized in entropic spells.”

“That’s right. Do you know what happened to him? Did he survive the annulment?”

Cullen rubbed his forehead. These intersections of their pasts were unpleasant. “Ev, I’m sorry. He was killed even before the circle was annulled. There was a group of templars and mages that were working together to bring down Knight-Commander Meredith. He was one of them.”

Evelyn looked pained. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. “How did he die?”

“The group had kidnapped Hawke’s brother under the insane notion that Hawke supported Meredith. Some of them were blood mages, and they attacked Hawke and anyone who supported her. He was dead when I arrived. I don’t know if he had tried to help Hawke or fought against her. I was more concerned with taking the living mages and templars into custody.”

“You weren’t part of the group?”

“I was not asked to join nor would I have at that point.” Cullen admitted.

Evelyn sighed. “Looking back, do you wish you had?”

“I would likely be dead, so no. But if you’re asking if I wish I had stopped Meredith sooner, absolutely.”

Evelyn summoned water to wet her hair and began to work up a lather.

“Are there to be any unicorn sightings today?” Cullen teased referring to when he had caught her bathing unawares and watched her make a foamy horn out of her hair.

“No unicorns today.” Evelyn replied as she summoned water to rinse her hair clean. “So how about you, how many women are there in Thedas of whom I should be jealous?” she said as she stood and then quickly donned her robe.

“None.” Cullen replied.

Evelyn leaned over and wrapped her hair in the towel and then stood while curling the towel into a makeshift turban. 

“Cullen Stanton Rutherford, there is no way you were a virgin when we met.”

“No, I wasn’t, but I didn’t really care about the women I was with before you.”

“Were they all prostitutes?”

“Maker no!” Cullen nearly turned purple at the thought.

“So you just used them for sex?”

“Yes. I mean no. Well, maybe.” Cullen stammered with increasing discomfort while massaging his left temple with his shield hand. He stopped fidgeting and made eye contact with Evelyn, “I was not in a place emotionally to maintain a relationship, but I did have desires and some ladies were accommodating.” 

“I bet they were.” she said while sitting on his lap.

“This is incredibly awkward.” he admitted.

“You were the one who brought up the subject.” she pointed out. “So more or less than ten?”

“What?” he feigned ignorance of her question’s intent.

“You know what I mean. Did you sleep with more or less than ten women before me?  
Cullen sat thinking for awhile. He had never really totaled it up. He could barely remember some of their names. His brow furrowed with thought. 

Evelyn began to snicker at his slow response. “I take it from that pensive answer that you were rather promiscuous.”

“I was no such thing. I just didn’t keep a running tally. The exact answer is 6 by the way.”

“Were any of them mages or templars?”

“I did not fraternize with people in the Circles I served.”

“That’s an evasive answer, Commander.” Evelyn said while playing with the fur on his pauldrons.

“Fine. One was a templar, but she was not under my command. She served in Starkhaven and visited the Kirkwall Circle to follow up on some mages that escaped and were later captured.”

“So how old were you the first time?”

“Maker’s breath, Evelyn.” 

“I admitted I was sixteen my first time. Were you older or younger?”

“Older.”

“And I was twenty-one the next time. Older or younger?”

“Twenty-one? You carried on a relationship with a templar for nearly three years and weren’t caught?”

“We were together four years but were only intimate for three. We were very cautious, and the fact that I supplied the templars with their lyrium rations and Kevin was in charge of their duty rosters made them inclined to disregard certain things.”

“He was in charge of duty rosters? What was his rank?” Cullen asked with curiosity. Low ranking knights did not make out duty rosters.

“Knight-Lieutenant when we began seeing each other. He was promoted to Knight-Captain later. I guess I have a thing for Knight-Captains that disobey their commanding officers’ bad orders.”

“Did you love him?”

“Of course, but he broke my heart when he left.”

“I’m blessed that he had the poor sense to abandon you. I will make no such mistakes.” Cullen said while running his hand up her leg and under her robe.

“Hey, now! You promised me shopping and dinner, Commander. I intend to collect.” Evelyn hopped out of his lap, grabbed her clothes, and headed behind a dressing screen. “Also, you still haven’t answered. Were you older or younger than twenty-one?”

“You are annoyingly persistent. I was twenty-two. She was a barmaid with a rather loose reputation. We saw each other off and on for years.”

“You saw her for years but didn’t care about her?”

“We were friends that sometimes slept together. It was convenient but not romantic.”

“So if you were friends, you did care about her.”

“Yes, if you put it that way, but I didn’t _love_ her nor she me.”

“That seems so sad. And the others?”

“Primarily one-night stands. Evelyn, after what happened at Fereldan’s Circle I was a mess for years. I was too consumed by anger to truly give or receive love.”

Evelyn came out from behind the screen dressed in her leathers and put on a pair of green silk slippers with small yellow crystals on the toes that Leliana had insisted she purchase in Valence. “I’m ready if you’re ready. I’ve had enough rehashing the past for today.”

“As have I.” Cullen said while offering her his arm. “So what do you want for your birthday?” 

“Something nice.”

“Care to be more specific?”

“No, I want you to pick something out on your own. And no cheating by having Josie or Leliana give you a list of my favorite things.”

Cullen grunted when she said no consulting Leliana or Josephine that had been his fallback plan if he couldn’t come up with something. “If you don’t give me some idea of what you might enjoy, you might end up with a pair of plaidweave pajamas.”

“I wouldn’t recommend that course of action unless you have a thing for plaidweave. I always make sure to use any gifts given to me. You’d be seeing a great deal of those pajamas at night. I would probably be so attached to them that it would be difficult to convince me to take them off.”

“I should have known better than to issue idle threats to the woman who twisted the Orleasian court around her finger in one night. So ... not even the tiniest clue as to what you would enjoy?”

Evelyn grinned widely as she poked Cullen in the ribs with her elbow, “Nope. You’re on your own, Commander.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cue Nick Jonas' "Jealous" as the background music for this scene.


End file.
